Trying to Stay Above Water, Well Life

How to do the mom thing and manage things without pulling out all of your hair.

How often and if you don't have enough ways to count this it's ok, have you wanted to just scream to the top of your lungs the words STOP OR NOT RIGHT NOW? Man, that would bring such a relief all while freaking out the entire household or maybe neighborhood. While this may not be the best method to try there are so many days that we have like this. It's really like it's a never-ending story of MOM I NEED THIS, or MOM I NEED THAT, or MOM CAN YOU PLEASE DO THIS. There are those days that we can really not catch a break. As cute as the kids are or how proud of them, we are, being a mom is ALOT OF HARD WORK. Yes, I said it. IT'S HARD WORK and time is never on our side for anything even when planned out to the finest millisecond possible.

How to catch a break in the world of your name being called a million times a day.

Set boundaries. YEAP even with a two-year-old. It may have to be communicated in so many different ways by age level, but the kids will get it even if you have to say no more than you would like to. I know, saying no makes you feel guilty, but in order for you to function at somewhat full capacity it's important to say no. It's really not a bad word. It can be very good at times.

Let the kids know that right at that moment is not a good time because you are in the middle of cooking dinner, wrapping up getting the lunches together or finishing the last load of laundry. The kids can and will understand what it means to give mom those few extra minutes. In those few minutes you can really exhale and get your thoughts together on how you will handle whatever request the kids have at that moment.

Helping the kids to understand the time boundaries you have set.

If you have told the kids in the middle of them shouting your name that you need 10 minutes. Explain to them why this time frame is important to you. If they are just learning how to tell time whether by the gold old fashioned hand clock or a digital clock this can be used as a teaching tool for them. But enforce that you can't disturb mom for however long you have set. It will create a sense of calming for you and understanding for them. For the younger children, it won't be as easy for them to understand why mommy doesn't need to have them hanging out with her for this period of time but give them a project to do. It could be something as simple as cleaning up the mess they have made or even taking the time to go pick their favorite book. Now, of course, the younger the child I know you can't just leave them unattended, but if they can have an activity to do just within those few short minutes even while you are keeping a mindful eye on them, it does help.

If you have older children who can help with keeping an eye on the younger ones, tap into that resource. Your mind, body and nerves will be very thankful that you did. It's not about you not wanting to be with your kids but the mental break is needed to recharge and refresh. The biggest thing to do is to not make yourself feel guilty for this time to yourself. Get into the mindset that you deserve this for the hard work that you have put in. And a refreshed mom can give such a different energy when it's time to regroup with the kids.

"Having a toddler feels like I'm forever cleaning up a party I never attended."

You are worthy of some time off.

I used to think that I was doing the worse thing in the world by not sticking to my things to do list or just putting off the household chores in order to sleep in or to take a moment to catch up on a show that I have been so wanting to see. I had to stop that feeling when my body decided to help me rest and that was by getting sick. Like the worst cold ever. My body just shut down, so in turn I had to shut down the house. And you know what? It felt so good. I mean not the sneezing and blowing my nose, but it felt so good to rest. I then started to look at things differently and decided that I had to make this a regular part of my lifestyle when it came to the process of household duties and just being the mom. In order to be effective, you have to stop and reset. Stop and take it all in. Stop and be normal for just that moment and even if that means that Sunday is now your laundry day instead of Saturday, then that just has to do. You and the household will survive. Just like you get time off from your job if you are working, you need to take that same approach to your busy mom lifestyle.

Bring in reinforcements, by way of family and friends.

There's the saying of it "takes a village to raise a child." That village can come in many forms and fashions. By way of family members as well as friends. Or even mom groups that you may belong to. Whether you're a single mom or a married mom, those in your life can help out. Setting play dates where you can have that moment of freedom to be you for a few hours. A weekend stays at the grandparents' house for the kids can be helpful. Use your mom network and be ok with it. Do not guilt yourself into thinking that it's not fair. To be perfectly honest those bonding times that your kids are having with others helps them out as well. Social interactions are an integral part of their development. Make sure to check in on them to see how everything is going and enjoy your time off to be you and do whatever it is that you want to do. Even if it just means binge watching tv, that is your time and bask in that moment.

How do you go on after this awesome time to yourself?

It's really simple. Make it a habit and enjoy it. Your own time can be so rewarding. Don't think any less of yourself because you are just as great of a mom for taking that time to enjoy you as you are with the kiddos. YOU GOT THIS! Don't worry. It will be ok, and it will all work out and your mind, body and soul as well as the kids will appreciate you even more.